Handling Disappointment with Yourself

Disappointment with ourselves is real (like me this morning). It is what we do with that self-disappointment that matters.

My son, Noah, left for school feeling shamed by his dad. He scrapped the car (again) with his bike as he was getting it out of our small garage.

I roll my eyes, throw an object I was holding to the ground and let my son know verbally and nonverbally that I am disappointed in him. I am not yelling and hitting my son in anger. Yet he knows I am disappointed in his shortcomings of not being more careful as an 11-year-old child and he biked off to school knowing it. There was no recovery other than a short ask for forgiveness as he went off and then later today talk about it.

This is a learned trait from my dad that I have. We both know it and have talked about it. Thanks, Winston Clark for being real with me. We are both more passive in anger and frustration, yet verbals and nonverbals will be felt! This has shown itself in my marriage, with kids and other family members, and those that I have worked with over the years.

There is no easy button. Yet there is humility and asking for forgiveness over and over. There is growth as a father to learn healthier skills to praise, praise, praise when I see success with our kids. Also, there is follow through on consequences when they break the values of our family so they can grow up to be young men and women of character. Again, no easy button.

It is so easy to compare ourselves with others in this social media day and age where there is “more” communication shared yet “less” interpersonal relationships than ever.

I honestly don’t know ONE FAMILY that I would say, “Look at them. They have it figured out.” Every person and every family has their personality and issues that they need to humbly work through every day.

I am humbly in tears this morning a few times as I read Philippians 2 where Paul says,
“Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus…made himself NOTHING, taking the very nature of a servant.”

I am glad that my daughter Laney caught me in tears as I kissed her cheek and I was able to share with her why her dad was crying early morning on the back deck.

The “gospel” or “good news” is not only a prayer of faith one day, but it is also an ongoing action of service, humility, love and listening to all. It is connecting with the broken and being willing to be appropriately vulnerable ourselves and share our broken stories and doubts and sins and frustrations with life.

I feel vulnerable and broken this morning and that is OK. It is good! My family and the world is watching and I don’t want to come across as even coming close to having it all together. I hope you can feel the same way today and love and serve right where you are in your brokeness.

The picture is with Noah at Subway having a gluten-free sub, Slurpee, and nasty nachos. If you were wondering, I love that boy and spoil him as well:).

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